I’m a Russian Occupant

A controversial video named “I’m a Russian Occupant” has gone viral on the Internet and sparked a series of heated debates.

The video, which has subtitles in a number of languages including English, discusses Russia’s so-called historical “occupation” of Siberia, Baltic States, Ukraine and Central Asia in a satirical way, highlighting all the economic, social and political benefits that have came with it.

Right after “I’m a Russian Occupant” was published, Internet users from around the world started a heated debate about the meaning of the video.

“That’s it. I am defecting to Russia. Now I can have all the high quality radios and no longer have to clean my toilet because fascist house guests say it smells.” – wrote someone with a nickname “ThreeFontStreet”.

Another user contemplated: “Everyone lives on conquered land. History has just forgotten the conquered in some places. Is humanity better off having actual civilization in Siberia and the Americas? Probably.”

The video has already gathered more than 2 million views on YouTube. The author of the video is 45-year old Alexei Ivanov from the city of Nizhny Novgorod, who runs a group on VKontakte, Russia’s version of Facebook, where he posts his work.

Text from the clip:

Hello!

I’m a Russian occupant. It is my profession. It just so happened historically.

I once occupied Siberia. Now they produce oil, gas, aluminum and other useful stuff. Now there are cities with kindergartens and hospitals. Now they can’t sell women for a bundle of sable skins, like it used to be before the Russians.

I occupied the Baltic States. Many factories and power plants were built on their farm lands. Baltic States used to produce high quality radio equipment and cars, famous perfume and balms. I was asked to leave them… Now they sell sprats, and part of their people clean toilets in Europe.

I invaded Central Asia. In bare steppes I built canals, factories, spaceports, hospitals and stadiums. They started building space rockets and planes, developing their industry, growing wheat and cotton for the whole country. I was asked to leave them. Now there are developing American loans and to grow marijuana. Part of their population went to work at the construction sites of the former occupants.

I occupied Ukraine. Together with the Ukrainians I built aircraft engines, ships, tanks and cars. I was asked to leave them. Now they are destroying all that is left of the occupant. Moreover, they don’t build anything new, except for endless “Maidans” and dictatorship.

Yes, I’m an occupant! And I’m tired of apologizing for it! I’m an occupant by birthright, an aggressor and a bloodthirsty monster. Be afraid!

I suffered the atrocities of the Polish invaders during the Time of Troubles, but how did this intervention end? I burned Moscow, so that Napoleon wouldn’t get it. But how did Napoleon end up?

I sat in a trench at Volokolamsk, knowing that the Nazis could not be held up. Where are these Nazis now along with their cursed Hitler? All and sundry used to come to my house: the Turks, the British, the Poles, the Germans, the French. We’ve got enough land for everyone two and a half meters for each one of them!

Please, understand, I don’t need your hypocritical “freedom”. I don’t need your rotten “democracy”. Everything that you call “the Western values” is alien to me!

I have other interests. I politely warn you for the last time – don’t mess with me! I build peace, I love peace, but I know how to fight better, than anybody else.

Sincerely,

your ..Russian occupant.

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